Archive for the ‘Parenting Teens’ Category
Teen Discipline Articles I’ve Written about Parenting Teens
Friday, January 22nd, 2010
Parenting Teens -Feature Writer at Suite101
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
Back in September, I changed from being the “Inter-Child Relationships” feature writer to the “Parenting Teens” feature writer. I’ve been very busy teaching parenting classes, conducting child care trainings and being an artist in residence in two different second grade classrooms. I haven’t posted on the blog much this fall, but I have still been writing articles for the “Parenting Teens” section of Suite101.com.
So check out the “Parenting Teens” section of Suite101 to read articles about parenting teens with Positive Discipline.
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Instead of Punishing Teens, Teach Responsibility to Teens
Wednesday, April 15th, 2009Today, I link you to one of my latest articles about discipline for teens. Many parents keep punishing teens and wonder what punishments will yield the best results to help teens learn. This article explains how punishment doesn’t usually do a very good job of holding children accountable and what actions can do a better job of teaching responsibility to teens.
Click on the article words below to link to the article on the Suite101.com website.
Teach Responsibility Instead of Punishing Teens:
Making Restitution Better at Holding Children Accountable
Use Chuck Norris Jokes to Connect with Your Teen
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
Because I live with four teenagers, I’m always learning something new about teens and teen culture.
Last week, I learned about “Chuck Norris jokes” at our dinner table.
AND I had some article deadlines at Suite101, so I decided to write an article for the Parenting Teens section about the popularity of Chuck Norris jokes among teens.
Read the article and start having fun with your teens or preteens by telling some Chuck Norris jokes.
Click on the article title below to be directed to the article on Suite101.com
Chuck Norris Jokes Popular with Teens:
Entertain Teens with Chuck Norris Facts
Teen Sexual Harassment at Work – More Risky than the Internet
Friday, February 27th, 2009
Parents, did you know that your teen daughter is more at risk for sexual harassment at her part-time job than on the internet?
When teens begin working at their first job, parents stress things such as “be on time”, “do what the boss tells you”, etc. Very few parents consider that their teen daughter is in a high risk category for sexual harassment.
This issue is so important to me that I wrote an article on the parenting teens section of Suite101.com about it. PBS NOW recently aired a documentary type broadcast about teens and sexual harassment on the job. In my article, I provide a link to the PBS NOW website where parents can watch a 20 minute preview of the broadcast.
If you have a teen daughter who works, take time to watch the preview video. If you have friends with teen daughters who work, please forward them the link to the article.
The article includes a link to “suggestions for parents” to help parents prepare their daughters for the world of work and to educate daughters about their rights at work.
Click on the article title words below to be directed to the article.
Teen Sexual Harassment at Work:
PBS NOW Reports Risk of Sexual Abuse on the Job for Teen Girls
Making and Keeping Agreements with Teens – Respect is the Key
Friday, January 30th, 2009“Making and keeping agreements” is a great parenting tool to use with teens and can be adapted to use with younger children and in other ways with teens. What I’ve learned the most from teaching this tool in parent workshops is that respect if the key to using this tool. If the tool is used without respect, then the tool won’t work well.
I love analogies and keep thinking of images of “power tools in the garage”. When we use power tools to get things done in the garage or around the house, respect and planning is important. Chain saws do a nice job of cutting through tough issues with efficiency, but it’s important to use a power saw with respect and it’s important to plan ahead to prevent a huge mess or a mistake.
I suppose I need to clarify that the “power” in “making and keeping agreements” doesn’t come by using force or “power over” your teen. Instead the power in “making and keeping agreements” comes from the respect offered when you discuss the agreement and the respect given when you follow through with your part of the agreement. The model of parent respect as well as the model of follow through at the same time is the powerful part. When parents follow through on a previous agreement with respect, the power lies in the modeling and teaching of a relationship and responsibility tool.
After teaching the “making and keeping agreements” tool in class, I looked forward to finding an opportunity to use the tool with my own children. Because I have teenagers, I knew it wouldn’t be long until I’d find an opportunity. When the opportunity arose, I was able to execute my plan with respect. I was able to stay calm while discussing an agreement. It’s important that you know that I had not been successful in staying calm in the past, in sticking to the current issue and in not acting judgmental. But finally I was able to do most all of those things. (I did veer off the current issue for a second, but then steered myself back on target.)
While I was discussing the agreement with my teen, I actually felt a powerful connection happening between us. My teen responded differently than in the past when I had tried to “discuss” things. After the agreement was made, I felt really good — actually proud of myself that I was able to follow through with my plan for how I wanted to maintain respect. It was amazing to me how I felt so much more “power” by staying calm, not demanding my own way and keeping my mind open to the opportunity.
How did I accomplish this? For me it helped to really look at the “problem” as an opportunity to teach my teen something about relationships and responsibility. I can get much more excited about teaching my teen new skills than I can about having to “handle” an issue with my teen. It also may help for you think of yourself as a mentor. There’s probably no where else your teen will be able to learn about respect in relationships if it isn’t from you at this time in their lives. Teens will have a hard time being respectful to others if they don’t have an idea of what it looks like – if they haven’t seen it or really felt it. Give your teen the gift of solving a problem with respect.
The power comes from staying calm.
When you remain composed, you have more power,
actually more influence with your teen.
The steps of “making and keeping agreements” is discussed at length in the book, “Positive Discipline for Teens” and it was very helpful for me to review the steps in the book before I tried this tool.
One of the reasons I love teaching parenting workshops is that I learn so much about being a better parent. This past week was our last session of “Teach Your Children to Fish: Essential Life Skills for Teaching Independence.” This was the first time this particular class was ever held and PRIDE will be offering it again in the future. The class went well and the feedback from the parents told me that the parents enjoyed the class and the learning involved. I learned a lot as well and am excited about teaching this class again. The PRIDE parent workshop calendar isn’t out yet for Fall of 2009 but my guess is that “Teach Your Children to Fish” will be offered either in September, October or November of 2009.
Homemade Valentine Cards to Give to Teens
Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
Get ready for Valentine’s Day!
Valentine’s Day expressions of love don’t have to cost a lot of cash.
Today, I bring some simple ideas that will send the message of love to the teens in your home.
I wrote an article for Suite101.com about simple Valentine cards to make for teens.
These homemade Valentine Cards are great for teens to both give and get.
So click here to read ——> Homemade Valentine Cards to Give to Teens:
Cool, Trendy and Creative Ways to Say “I love you” to Teenagers
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Also, I found another fun idea on the FamilyFun.com website.
You can easily turn a box of conversation hearts into an
Children and Materialism: Reflecting on the Holidays
Saturday, December 27th, 2008This past summer, I was given the gift of attending the NASAP Conference in Pennsylvania. NASAP stands for the North American Society for Adlerian Psychology.
The keynote speaker was Tim Kasser, a psychology professor at Knox College and author of the book, The High Price of Materialism.
Tim spoke at the conference dinner on Saturday night and I was transfixed on his words the whole time.
Tim delivered the results of some of his research that gives strong evidence against a materialistic lifestyle.
According to Tim’s research,
the MORE a person focuses on acquiring material possessions,
the LESS HAPPY they are!
You can find a very condensed version of some of
Tim’s research on the
Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood website.
Teens and Responsibility: Positive Discipline Article
Thursday, July 31st, 2008On the “Parking Lot” board of my parenting classes, parents “park” questions that we can’t cover in class. One of the parked questions from the “Don’t Flip Your Lid” parenting class is
How do parents get through to teens about responsibility?
I will be answering “parking lot” questions from parenting classes here on the blog so stay posted if your parenting question hasn’t been answered yet. I may be writing several blog posts about each question. Sometimes I’ll share personal experiences. Sometimes I’ll link you to great parenting articles on other websites, especially the Positive Discipline website. Other times I’ll share personal experiences with my own kids as well as tips and strategies that will help parents learn effective strategies.
Jane Nelsen has written an article called
“How Do You Motivate a Teen?“
In this article, Jane Nelsen (author of the Positive Discipline books) discusses teen responsibility and attitude tools and action tools to help parents focus teens on becoming responsible. Parents, read this article first and look for more comments and tips from me in the future on teaching teens about responsibility.
Also my upcoming parenting classes will focus on responsibility tools and relationship tools and will definitely help parents teach teens about responsibility.
September 2008 parenting class
“Misbehavior Detectives: Understanding the Beliefs Behind Your Child’s Misbehavior”
as well as my October 2008 parenting class,
“Coaching From the Sidelines: Encouragement is Key to Discipline Success”
I’ll be posting a description of these classes as well as registration information in the coming week.
More “Parking Lot” questions answered and more answers about teens and responsibility coming soon.
Kelly
The Secret Life of an American Teenager TV Show – Talking to Teens About Sex
Thursday, February 26th, 2009My 13 year old daughter and I have a date each Monday evening at 8 o’clock. We sit together on the couch in our living room and watch the show, “The Secret Life of an American Teenager”. The show launched last summer on ABC Family and has been a big hit with viewers.
Watching the show together has given me and my daughter another way to talk about sex (in addition to other mother daughter type talks.) During the commercials, we sometimes give our opinions about the decisions made by the characters on the show.
Below is the link to an article I wrote on Suite101.com about “The Secret Life of an American Teenager” and how the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy recommends the show as a conversation starter for parents and teens. The article has links to the ABC Family website where parents can view full episodes of the show on-line. Click on the title below and your browser will be directed to the article on the Suite101 website.
At the end of every episode of “The Secret Life of an American Teenager” the actress who plays Amy reminds viewers that teen pregnancy is 100% preventable. She also reminds teens to talk to their parents and parents to talk to teens.
Parents, I know it can be difficult to talk to teens about sex. It can be embarrassing for both parents and teens. I tell my teens that I’d rather us be embarrassed talking lots and lots about sex now than be embarrassed talking about an unplanned pregnancy later. Even though talking isn’t a cure for teen pregnancy, it sure helps teens make decisions, ask questions, stay informed and know that they can ask more questions in the future when they want to.
Did you know that the United States
has the highest teen pregnancy rates
among industrialized nations?
The Secret Life of an American Teenager:
Using a Television Show to Talk to Teens about Sex
Tags: sex, The Secret Life of an American Teenager
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